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Regret, how can we move past it? | Cooper Vardy | TEDxYouth@WISS



In this talk, Vardy attempts to define regret, outline the steps in overcoming it,
and express his thoughts on how to apprehend rewarding experiences one might
otherwise rebuff.

Cooper Vardy was born and raised near New York City, in a shoreline Connecticut town in the Northeastern United States. He lived in North Africa for two years and has travelled extensively across 4 continents. Now living in Shanghai, Vardy is a junior at WISS, and has undertaken many varied and miscellaneous ventures. In addition to being a world traveller, Vardy can call himself a published author, commissioned artist, paid musician, tournament video gamer, scuba diver, philanthropist, and stage performer, among other titles. In supplement, he has spent countless hours in the study of language, geography and history. He believes that, in partnership with hard work and perseverance, hunting and taming opportunity is the root of all success. He would like to share this outlook with those willing to listen, and, hopefully, encourage anyone who wishes to expand his or her own portfolio of life experiences.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

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  1. I messed up in a way that nobody knows. My dad told me recently that I've been acting different over the last couple days and it's because of my regrets. I feel like a bad person, which is the exact opposite of someone I wanted to be. At times it feels like nobody's regrets are as bad as mine. I'm only 18 and I'll be 19 here in the next couple months but I don't know how to move on. I need help.

  2. I leave my friends for no good reason and I regret that and now sadness is killing me I blame my self why i'm not good at making decisions.

    Sorry for my grammar.

  3. same things used to happen with me ….. until i accepted my regrets i Observed them by both sides and found conclusion of each regrets and if it was my fault then i accepted that i need Improvement and moved on ……

    i think if u don't have acceptance then where is the scope of improvement?

  4. I cheated. Hurt him. I caused him trauma. I caused him pain and I regret everything but I can't turn back the days,time that we, I can still fix it. Those days that I shouldn't do it. I begged for love and forgiveness. I fixed myself for 9 months without any connection with him.I love him so much. I really do. Until now. He's my first love. We hold our love for 3 years. He still love me but love is not enough to come back to me.

  5. I just passed an exam I was 90% sure I would fail. In the middle of the test, I had the choice between giving up and the exam not counting, or getting it graded with 90% chance of failing.
    Taking the exam more than once is an option, so it's not like I'd lose anything by failing it.
    But what did I do? I decided to give it up.

    It was a really important exam. I can take it again, but I wont have passed on time for what I need/want to do. I have to wait 1 to 3 more years.

    Anyways. I regret it.

    Just wanted to put that out there:)

  6. The title of this should be renamed "How To Not Have Regret" because it does nothing to help someone overcome the regret they do have. Or you could rename it "How To Get Over Your Boo-Boos" because this guidance would not help anyone with true shattering regret. Sorry, but that's how I see it.

  7. A very articulate speaker. Thank you for preparing such an important topic that affects us all. Indeed, I did all I could, I am doing all I can. The last 60 seconds was an effective closing to your well thought out presentation. Lots of food for thought moving forward. Eastern Canada during Covid.

  8. Trust me biggest regret u can ever have is not being with your parent and saying how much u love them and then they die,and u cant see them or tell them and u werent even there,there is nothing harder than that kind of regret,u will fall in love in many girls and u will forget them an dmove on and u will always find another job but u will never find another mother or father which loves u more than enything in world,pls go right now and be spend soem time with them if u love them.

  9. I did very well in public exam, yet I chose to study a subject that my parents wanted me to. Idk how I can get out of this situation, I have an offer from UAL and that’s where I want to study at, but my family is not wealthy enough for me to go overseas. Now I’m stuck having to study architecture. My poor choice making resulting in 4+ more years of suffering.

  10. I made a decision to end a 6 years relationship because I felt like I was not heard and I was misunderstood all the time my voice didn't matter that much, to my knowledge I tried to make things work but nothing seem to work in the relationship I was made to believe that I was always the wrong one and made to apologize for almost all the bad things that happened in the relationship and believe me I did even though I knew I was not wrong but I wanted peace which I never got I felt emotionally abused with the words which were constantly said to me. I finally managed to end it even though I was blamed and called names the person was also cheating but that was not my main problem. Sometimes I feel like I made the right decision but sometimes I ask my self what if I made a mistake
    Sometimes I just feel like I should have endured the pain and maybe one day it was going to be better which I doubt. I felt blamed when I left not only by him but family as well I felt like no one understand what I went through and what I was going through at the time. I feel like sometimes I just need someone to come and say you did well because I am not sure if I made an emotional decision or not but deep down I think I did I just need validation from people which I know is wrong this happened 3 years ago and I can't talk to anyone about it anymore because people assumes I have moved on. I want to move on I want to forgive myself and a part of me just want him to come and apologize and tell me I am not crazy like he always said it hurts and I feel like it is taking away from my life. Why can't I just move on I can't afford a therapist that's why I am writing this thing here I am trying to let go of the guilt of ending the relationship I don't think I regret it but I do feel guilty and it is not a nice feeling. I generally consider myself a nice person I put other people first and I feel like the guilt comes from knowing that I have caused someone pain and it doesn't sit well with me.
    I know I just wrote things which were coming out of my mind in no particular order with no paragraphs but I hope someone relates and give me some advice and English is not my first language so pardon the mistakes. Thank you in advance I hope to smile ☺ again.

  11. If this very second were your last on 🌍, would you be satisfied?
    Yes.

    I did all I could, I am doing all I can.

    Thank you SO MUCH FOR THIS. I needed the clarity and release this morning. 🙏🙌❤

  12. Back in 2015, a beautiful girl shown some interest in me, later I started to love her but I never expressed it because I have autistic traits and I find hard to overcome those, she tried everything, she showed hints and clues but I pretend like nothing happened because of my inability to show my love, after some months she was committed in a relationship with a senior guy, I was devastated, I can't do anything other than crying about why I didn't tell her, 4 years I saw them everywhere, they hangout happily holding hands, always together but after some years I told her my love through text, she responded that she is in relationship with him and said, "you will deserve someone who will love you as much you loved me", but still when I think back 4 years ago, I cry, still I regret that, " why did I missed her?"

    Any solution to this problem?

  13. I didn't do well in exam though I could have and no it's not because of lack of practice or overconfidence but self doubt. I got the right answers in the first attempt but changed it thinking this can't be it . And in the past month, too I did the same beacuse of self doubt. I regret it. I have estimately lost 30 marks i.e. 6% in my board exams ( which is very important in India ). And I have more 5 papers to go but I'm not able to concentrate on them.

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